My Immortal
by sethsduck17
Summary: song fic ab Jackie leaving Point Place. JH. first time doing this for T7S...please R&R! Back to due to popular demand....second chapter is up!
1. My Immortal

"i'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all of my childish fears"

She was leaving. He had been dreading this day for a while. At first he couldn't wait for her leave, he hated her for God's sake!!! But now...now it was different. Now he had fallen in love with her. The petit brunette that never had a nice thing to say had wedged her way into his heart. And now she was leaving it empty...just like many others before her had. His father, his mother, everyone. For once he thought that maybe he had found happiness and it would last. But just like before, it didn't. It never did...why should it now??

"and if you have to leave  
i wish that you would just leave"

"Steven...are you in here?" Jackie called out the next day in Eric's basement.

"In here," he answered her. She walked in and sat down next to him.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" she asked him.

"Don't do that," he said softly.  
"Don't do what? All I wanna know is if we're going out tonight."

"Your acting as though everything's fine. Everything's not fine Jackie!! You leave in two days!"

"Well excuse me for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend before I go away," she snapped as she walked out of the house. He watched her go and sighed. He hated this. He hated that she was dragging this out, pretending that everything would be fine. Everything isn't going to be fine. She refused to recognize it and it drove him crazy!! Half of him wanted her to leave already and the other half of him wanted her to never leave. He just wanted it all out of the way, the good byes, the lonesome days and nights, the little things that would remind him of her. He wanted it all gone...it sounded horrible, he knew it, but he just wanted her gone already.

2 months later

"because your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase"

Hyde sat on the sofa watching tv as Kelso stumbled through the door with his latest girl on his arm.

"Oh yeah...Heather, this is Hyde. Hyde, this is Heather," Kelso said after a few minutes of looking up and realizing that he was sitting there.

"Oh get a room," Hyde muttered as he walked into his room. He sat down on the purple bed that Jackie had picked out so long ago and sighed. Two months had passed. Two months of not talking. Sure, they had broken up, but he at least thought that they would somehow still talk. God how he missed her. He missed her looks that she gave him when he said something wrong, when Eric screwed up again with his mother or Donna, he missed her talking to him, he missed them kissing...hell he just missed everything about this girl.

"Go away!" he yelled at the room at large hoping to chase away her spirit. Convinced it had worked, he turned on his radio and leaned back to listen to it. But no, it had a song that the two of them had done something to. He could still feel her beside him saying how he needed to get some button up shirts and how he needed to come to Kitty's dinner party for Fez. Was it normal to still feel the girl that you broke up with is still right there beside you two months after you broke up?? God he hoped so, he really did.

"when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me"

"Steven, phone!!" Kitty called down the stairs the next day. Hyde bounded up and took the phone.

"Leo, I told you, you can't just take the money out of the cash register. That's called stealing. Normally I wouldn't say anything...but I don't the need the cops," he sighed. Leo never got it. He was too stoned to get it.

"Steven?? It's me," Jackie's voice came over the line.

"Jackie?" Hyde repeated as he sank down into the corner of the counter. After weeks of hearing her voice, he finally did and it sounded the same; bitchy and irritating, but at the same time heart warming.

"How-how are you?" he asked unsure of what to say.

"I'm fine. How's things back home??"

"They're good. Kelso has his latest Barbie, Eric and Donna are still the same and Fez is still looking for another girl to use as girl candy."

"Yeah...that's great. Hey Steven, is Donna there?"

"Donna?"

"Yeah, you know, red head, lumber jack, goes out with Eric..."

"I know who you're talking about and no she's not. Why'd you call here for her?"

"Well, it's Eric's house."

"Try her house. I heard she lives there," he said as he hung up the phone.

"Steven!! Did you just hang up on that girl??"

"Yeah," he said as he walked into the living room. He sat on the sofa, turned on the TV but tuned it out, and pulled off his glasses and put his head in his hands. After all the fights they'd had, after all the talks they'd had, after assuring him that he was worthy of love, after everything that they'd been through together, she called her for Donna??

"Donna, Jackie called earlier," Hyde told her as she walked into the kitchen later that day.

"Well what did she say? Does she miss you?" she asked.

"No."

"Well, what's going on?" she asked confused.

"She called for you," he replied getting up.

"Me?"  
"Yeah, apparently, she can't talk to me. Probably would ruin her 'reputation' so far away," he said bitterly.

"Hyde, I'm so sorry," Eric offered as he put his hand on Hyde shoulder.

"Yeah whatever, I'm fine," he pulled away as he walked downstairs not wanting people to see the tears pooling in his eyes. He loved her still and she doesn't even miss him. Wow, he must of really meant something to her.

"you used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me"

"Hyde!! How's Jackie doing??" someone called out that day.

"I dunno," he muttered.  
"How could you not know?? You're her boyfriend," the girl said snottily before walking away. Hyde sighed again for what seemed like the tenth time that day. People that would never talk to him were talking to him because of Jackie. Granted it was just because of asking how Jackie is, but still. Cheerleaders noticed him for crying out loud!!! He shook his head to rid himself of that thought and moved on towards his next class.

Her face broke out in a smile and laughed at him when he told her that they were going canoeing down the street.

"You're doing what?"

"Canoeing."

"UUmmm...isn't that dangerous?"

"No, no. I'm driving."

"Oh, ok. Have fun then," she kissed him as she walked away. Later that night after everyone had gone away she came back. She walked into the basement and straight to him. He put his arms around her and hugged her as he kissed her. They cherished this time...they never to get to be alone. When they are, they milk it for all it's worth.

"Steven?" she paused while looking at him.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too. I always will baby," he said as he kissed her again.

"Hyde!!!"

"Foreman?" he asked confused. What was Eric doing there??

"Hyde, wake up!!"

"What?"

All the sudden, someone was shaking him. He cracked one eye open and saw Eric standing there.

"What?" he snapped.

"Did you mean that?" Donna asked from behind him.

"Mean what?"

"You loved Jackie?"

"What?? No!!!!"

"Well you just said-"

"I was dreaming. Or in this case a bad dream," he replied.

"Right...you could of just said yes," she said as she walked out of his room.

Damn it!! Now everyone knew that he loved her...he knew that Donna would tell everyone, especially Jackie. Great, now he had to lie everyone...and he didn't like doing that. It was too hard to keep them straight.

"these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears

when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
and though you're still with me  
i've been alone all along"

"So I guess you've heard?" Kelso asked that day.

"What are you talking about?" Hyde asked.

"Jackie's coming back??"

"Yeah. She called me last night. I'm surprised she didn't call you...I mean you are her boyfriend and all right??"

Hyde just looked at him and punched him in his arm. Kelso knew that they broke up...they all knew. And they all knew now that he had his heart broken too.

-We broke up. I should move on. She's not here anymore and she's probably with some other guy right now. What do I care?? That's right...I don't care!!- he thought to himself.

All the sudden there a whirl through the room and her voice came, "Hey guys!!"

There was no way. He had to be dreaming. Jackie wasn't here...at least not yet. But when he opened his eyes, she was standing there, beautiful as ever, with a guy on her arm. Great. It figures that she would do that; break his heart and then shove it in his face. It just figures that she would do that. He dreamed of her every night when she was gone. Thought of her every day, and she just didn't care. She really was a cold heartless bitch wasn't she?? -Wait, what am I talking about? She's not, I know that. Then what the hell is she doing with Johnny Fruitcake over there?- he thought to himself.

"Jackie can I talk to you?" he pulled her aside later on that evening.

"What's up Steven?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you said that we were still dating."

"We are. Just more than one person."

"Jackie..."

"Steven, you are miles away!! I can't keep all of me to myself!!"

"How about me!?"

"You're not there!! You're miles away!! I'm gorgeous, I can't help it if people think I'm attractive!"

"Forget it Jackie, just forget it."

"What is your problem??!"

"YOU!!!! I love you ok?? I love you Jackie."

"Steven..."

"No, forget it. Go be Johnny Fruitcakes girlfriend. Whatever," he said as he stalked away.

The whole time she was away, he thought of her. Hell, he could of gotten with tons of girls, but he didn't. He couldn't. Because of Jackie. And she just didn't care.


	2. Fall to Peices

"I look away  
Then I look back at you  
You try to say  
The things that you can't undo"

Hyde couldn't stand it anymore. All he heard out of her mouth was excuses after excuses. He was miles away, he never saw her, she was too gorgeous for her own good...blah, blah , blah. She couldn't even look at him. God how pathetic is that?? She tried to say that she was sorry that he misunderstood, but it was no use now. He told her that he loved her and just like that she wanted him back. Not gonna happen. He loved her, she didn't love him...end of story. At least in his book.

"If I had my way  
I'd never get over you  
Today's the day  
I pray that we make it through  
Make it through the fall  
Make it through it all"

"Oh Ray!!" Jackie squealed the next day. He just laughed as he hugged her to him and kissed her passionately. The worst thing was that she kissed him back. In front of Hyde.  
"Yeah, I gotta go. Nice meeting you Jay. Have a nice life Jackie," he said as he got up, flubbing Ray's name on purpose.  
"It's Ray," he offered as he stuck his hand to shake.  
"That's nice," Hyde replied as he looked at his hand and then walked right out of the door.

How could she do that?? In front of him!!?? It was like she really just didn't care about his feelings at all. He said the one thing that he vowed to himself he never would and the girl just put on her stilettos and walked all over his heart leaving tiny heel imprints. It was no use. He wanted to hate her. He wanted her to leave forever. But at the same time, he loved her and didn't want her to leave. He wanted that fag that she was with to leave, that's who he wanted to leave. He threw his hands up as he walked along the sidewalk. He didn't even know why he tried...he was never to get over her. No matter how much he tried, she would always have his heart. And he didn't know why. All he knew was that she had four more days here with that fruitcake. He just had to make it through...he couldn't let it show that he cared. Well, she knew that he cared...but he had to pretend that he was ok. As long as he could keep face, he was ok. But not really.

"And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it  
Cuz I'm in Love With you"

She was perfect. Her hair had flipped over her shoulder in the messy, sexy, but not trying to be sexy hair do. It turned him on whenever she would do that and scratch her nails lightly on him and she knew it. If she touched him, so help him God, he would just lose all control. He wanted her. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to hold, to have her love him back as much as he did her. He hated feeling this way. He was stuck in the rut, and he knew it. But he didn't like it. He couldn't be in the same room as her, he just wanted to touch her. He couldn't hold a conversation with her anymore because all her wanted to do was kiss her and play with her tongue. All he could do was stare at her and ache with want. At times he would just sit there and look at her watch TV. He couldn't help it...he was just attracted to her. He almost broke down one time in front of her, but resisted and went away...far away. He never cried...especially over a girl. So why was he acting so unlike himself now? He didn't get it. He didn't get her.

5 days later

"You're the only one,  
I'd be with till the end  
When I come undone  
You bring me back again  
Back under the star  
Back into your arms"

"Steven?"  
"Umph," he muttered, still asleep.  
"Steven, please?" the voice begged.  
"What do you want?" he snapped as he cracked an eye open. "Jackie!! What are you doing here??" he asked in incredulousness and happiness.  
"I mean, what do you want?" he asked as he regained his composure. He hated her, he didn't love her. At least that's what he had been telling himself for the past week. But seeing her there sitting on his bed just like she used to, made his insides stir. Suddenly he noticed her red rimmed eyes that were all red and puffy.  
"What happened?? Did that guy touch you?? I'll kill him," he told her as he suddenly sat up straight.  
"No Steven, no!! He didn't touch me...he never did. He broke up with me, that's what he did."  
"Oh. Ok..."  
"He said that he felt like something was between us. I told him time and time again that it was over, you wanted nothing to do with me, but he didn't believe me. Oh God Steven I'm sorry. I know that you hate me, I just didn't know who else to come to."  
"Calm down, calm down! It's ok. And I don't hate you. I hated that you were messing around with that fag in front of me when I told you that I loved you. I hated that I thought of you the entire time you were gone and you just didn't care. I hated how you moved from me to him so damn quickly. I hated that I couldn't hate you, no matter how hard I tried."  
"Oh my God Steven," Jackie said as she put her hand to her chest as her eyes filled with tears. "You've never said that to me."  
"Yeah well I'm tired of lying," he said as they sat there and stared at each other.

"Wanna know who you are  
Wanna know where to start  
I wanna know what this means  
Wanna know how you feel  
Wanna know what is real  
I wanna know everything, everything"

Jackie sat and stared at Hyde for what seemed like forever. Usually he hated it when people stared at him, but for some reason, he loved it this time. He felt like she was seeing him for the first time in a long time.  
"What do you mean, you're tired of lying?" she asked finally.  
"You know what I mean Jackie. You're the only thing that I think about night and day. You know that I love you...I always have. I always will," he barely finished when she lunged at him and pressed her lips against fervently. He grabbed her and hugged her to him as he kissed her back with passion.  
"Wait, wait," he said breathlessly.  
"What?"  
"What does this mean?? Are we back together or are you just fucking around here with me?"  
"Steven..."  
"No, because if you're not serious, go away. I don't need this right now. If you are serious, then say it. Say what you feel, say what you want."  
"What I want?? Hmmm...what I want is for you to shut the hell up," she said coyly as she kissed him again several times.  
When she stopped, her held her at arms length and just looked at her.  
"What?" she asked confused.  
"Nothing, I'm just looking at you," he said as he reached up to brush her hair out of her face and then caressed her cheek.  
"Steven, I've been lying to you."  
"What??!!" he said.  
"With Ray. I was only with him to get my mind off of you. I never stopped thinking about you, I never stopped feeling for you. I only brought him here to make you jealous. I thought that you hated me and I wanted to flaunt him in front of your face to get back at you."  
"Well, it worked. Jackie, why didn't you just tell me??"  
"I was going to, but..."  
"But..."  
"I just couldn't. I don't know why...I think I was afraid of you. Afraid that you'd laugh at me and just blow me off."  
"I would never do that to you," he said as he kissed her again.  
"Steven..."  
"What?"  
"I love you too."  
"I was hoping that you did," he said as tears sprang unexpectedly to his eyes.  
"Oh my God!! What's wrong?" she asked.  
"Nothing...it's just that I thought that I lost you."  
"You never have. You never will," she responded to him as she kissed him again before lying down beside him in his bed.  
  
"I'm in love with you  
Cuz i'm in love with you  
And I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you"

-"Fall to Pieces" by Avril Levigne


End file.
